Frequently Asked Questions About Psychotherapy

You might notice patterns that repeat in relationships, a persistent sense of anxiety or flatness, or reactions that feel stronger than the situation calls for. Afterwards, you might find yourself feeling self-critical or questioning how you handled things.

For some people, it’s less obvious. Life can look stable from the outside, while internally there’s a persistent sense of tension, restlessness, or disconnection.

Others come at points of change. The end of a relationship, a loss, or something that feels difficult to take in or move through alone.

Therapy tends to become relevant when your usual ways of coping are no longer enough, or when you understand what’s happening but still find yourself caught in the same patterns.

In those moments, having someone who can stay with you in what’s happening, rather than moving too quickly to solutions or explanations, can make a difference. It can allow you to process experience without becoming overwhelmed or shutting it down.

Over time, this creates space to understand what is maintaining these patterns, and to begin experiencing them differently, rather than continuing to repeat them.

No. Some people come with a specific issue, while others arrive with a more general sense of being stuck, unsettled, or not quite themselves, without being able to explain why.

You might notice things aren’t working as you’d like. In relationships, in how you respond to stress, or in how you feel day to day, but it’s difficult to put into words or trace back to anything specific.

Part of the work is making sense of this together. You don’t need to arrive with a clear explanation. Often, the patterns only become clearer once there is space to slow things down and pay attention to what’s happening more closely.

No. You don’t have to talk about anything before you’re ready.

It’s common to feel cautious about opening up, especially with someone you don’t yet know. Therapy isn’t about being pushed to disclose everything quickly. You can decide what feels manageable to share.

At times, going straight into deeply distressing material can feel overwhelming, and if it happens too quickly, it can leave you feeling as though you’re reliving something rather than processing it. Because of that, I won’t push you to talk about anything that feels too unsettling.

That doesn’t mean avoiding these experiences altogether. The aim is to work with them in a way that feels different, where you can stay grounded enough to notice what’s happening without becoming flooded by it.

Over time, as a sense of safety develops, difficult experiences can be approached gradually. In that context, they can begin to be experienced as something that happened in the past, rather than something that still feels immediate or ongoing.

You might have sat in therapy, talked things through, understood why you feel or react the way you do, and still found yourself in the same patterns outside of it.

Sometimes therapy stays at the level of understanding or trying to manage thoughts. That can help to a point, but it doesn’t always reach patterns that feel more automatic or emotionally driven.

Part of the difficulty is that these patterns can be organised around protection. If something in you registers a situation as threatening, even subtly, it can be hard for anything new to take hold. Not because you don’t understand, but because your system is doing what it has learned to do to stay safe.

Other times it may come down to the person you’re sitting with.
Whether you feel heard, understood, and taken seriously.
Whether there’s some sense of connection, or if it feels more like talking to someone who stays neutral and a bit distant.
That difference matters, especially when you’re trying to stay with things that are hard to feel.

Many people come to therapy already understanding a lot about themselves. They may know why they feel or react the way they do, yet find those patterns still take over in the moment.

Change tends to happen when those patterns are not just talked about, but experienced and worked with as they arise. This includes how you respond emotionally, how your body reacts under stress, and how you relate to another person in real time.

Over time, this can lead to a different kind of shift. Not just knowing what’s happening, but finding that your reactions begin to soften, your capacity to stay with difficult experiences increases, and you have more choice in how you respond.

It’s less about applying techniques, and more about gradually changing how these patterns show up and are experienced.

Because many of these patterns aren’t just thoughts. They’re learned through experience, often in earlier relationships or periods of stress.

You might understand why you react the way you do, but in the moment, your system can still shift into anxiety, shutdown, or reactivity before there’s time to think differently. At that point, insight has limited influence.

These responses tend to be automatic. They’re shaped through experience and become familiar ways of staying safe, even if they no longer fit your current situation.

Change usually involves working with these patterns as they happen, not just reflecting on them afterwards. This can include noticing how they show up in your body, your emotions, and in the therapeutic relationship itself.

Over time, this allows something new to be experienced. Not just understanding the pattern, but responding differently within it, so it gradually loses its hold.

Some people come for a shorter period to work through something specific. Others stay longer to understand and shift patterns that have been there for years.

If the work is more focused on long-standing patterns, such as how you relate to others or how you respond emotionally, it usually takes time. Many of these patterns begin early in life, and become organised through repeated experiences over time.

Change here can come through repeated experiences that begin to feel different.

We will check in regularly about how the work is going and whether it still feels useful.

Structured approaches like CBT often focus on identifying and changing thoughts and behaviours directly. This can be useful, especially for developing practical strategies or managing specific symptoms.

My approach is more focused on the patterns that sit underneath those thoughts and behaviours. These patterns are often shaped through earlier relationships and are experienced not just in how you think, but in how you feel, respond, and relate to others.

Rather than trying to change things straight away, we pay attention to how these patterns show up in the moment. What you’re feeling, what’s happening in your body, and what’s unfolding between us in the room.

Research in trauma, including work by Ruth Lanius, suggests that change often depends on a sense of safety in the body as well as insight. When that’s in place, different responses can begin to emerge more naturally.

Over time, this can lead to change that feels less effortful. Not because you’re managing your reactions more carefully, but because they begin to soften. You might still notice the same situations, but they don’t trigger the same intensity or pull you in as strongly.

Whether it feels like the right fit isn’t always immediately clear.

You’re not looking for a perfect sense of certainty straight away, but for some early signs. That you can speak without needing to filter too much. That you feel listened to and understood in a way that goes beyond surface level. And that the way we’re working makes sense to you, even if it’s unfamiliar.

It can also show up in small ways. Whether you leave feeling a bit more settled, or like you can stay with what came up, rather than feeling completely overwhelmed or shut down.

At times, there may be moments where something doesn’t quite land. You might feel misunderstood, or notice a shift, like pulling back, going quiet, or wondering if you’ve said something wrong.

Rather than moving past that, we would slow it down and look at what happened. That might include talking through what didn’t feel right, or what you needed in that moment.

When those moments are worked through, rather than avoided, it can lead to a different kind of experience. One where a misunderstanding doesn’t automatically lead to distance or disconnection.

Over time, that can begin to shift how you experience relationships more broadly. Not through advice, but through something different being experienced directly.

It’s also important that you feel respected in the space. This includes your background, identity, and how you make sense of your experience. You should feel able to give feedback, and have it taken seriously, with the work adjusting where needed.

This usually becomes clearer over the first few sessions.

If it doesn’t feel like the right fit, that’s important information. Therapy works best when there’s enough trust and alignment to do the work, and it’s okay to decide to continue elsewhere.

Yes. You’re not committing to anything beyond the session you’ve booked.

The first session is a chance to get a sense of how it feels to work together. That includes whether you feel comfortable enough to speak openly, whether you feel understood, and whether the way we work makes sense to you.

It often takes a few sessions to get a clearer sense of whether therapy is useful, but you can decide at your own pace. There’s no expectation to continue unless it feels like the right fit.

Individual sessions are $180 for 60 minutes.
Couples sessions are $220 for 60 minutes.

No. Sessions are privately billed.

You don’t need a referral or a mental health care plan to start.

Psychologists are trained in assessment, diagnosis, and a range of therapeutic approaches. In Australia, they can offer Medicare-rebated sessions with a GP referral.

Psychotherapists are trained specifically in providing therapy. The work often focuses more on in-depth, relational patterns, how they’ve developed over time, and how they continue to show up in the present.

There is some overlap between the two. The main differences tend to be in training pathways and how sessions are funded.

My work is privately billed and focuses on longer-term, depth-oriented therapy, rather than short-term, structured treatment.

In-person sessions are available at Hartington Centre, 24 Hartington Street, Northcote, on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Wednesday sessions are held at Four Seasons Wellness Centre, 305 Johnston Street, Abbotsford. Online sessions are available across Australia.